A Woman on the Edge

No one ever told me being a mom and wife was this of hard of work. For crying out loud, where are the union people? I think some renegotiations are in order. There are several things I can see that are demanding some attention. One of them being my toenails. Good Lord. Let me tell you ladies, sandpaper isn't sexy.

And while we are at it, let's talk about these sleeping arrangements. I have some issues with everyone sleeping on clean sheets that I have put on. Can anyone agree with me that sheets that are not laundered by you feel so much better? I want to slip into a cool crisp inviting bed of newly washed sheets and know that it isn't me that broke my back loading them and folding them. Okay, maybe not broke my back, but I most assuredly had to bend down to get them out of the dryer.

And clothes. Don't even get me started. Let's just say me and the washer? Well we are mostly inseparable. And it's not because I love it that much. And while we are at it, dishes. If it's not the washer, it's the dishwasher. What is everyone eating anyway? If my memory serves me right, all I hear is that there isn't anything to eat in this house.

Let's talk about the TV. This one is going to be directed mostly towards the people in the house 4 feet and under. I am considering a ban on any show that has more than 20 minutes of animation. And anyone who repeats themselves 30 times in that amount of seconds .... gone. Say your goodbyes now. Mama is going to be master of the TiVo now. Say hello to Dr.Christian Troy.
And lastly. Maid services. Now this is the make or break of the deal. While I don't mind doing things like scrubbing toilets and floors, I do mind screwing that cap back on the toothpaste. Or closing cabinet doors. My head can only stand being konked so many times. I am losing brain cells here people. Not to mention the stress it causes me having to refrain from cursing while feeling like my head is splitting open like a watermelon thrown froma balcony.

So, all in all. What do you think my chances are of getting this deal sealed without a strike?

That's what I thought. Things might get messy.