I Will Kill Them with Boredom

So, the other day Mike and I took Thing 1 and Thing 2 to the local kids museum. They were having a little presentation in one of the classrooms where someone would talk about different animals then let the kids touch them. Perfect, I thought. They touch everything else when they aren't supposed to, this will be a welcome break.

So, we are packed into this room like sardines and I already feel the apprehension in air. Parents are all sitting with fake smiles while the cold sweat of dread trickles down their spine. I am not excluded.

This little gal stands up and begins stammering into her presentation. Great I think. My 2 yr old could manhandle this woman and she is the one that is supposed to be commanding attention from 30 preschoolers. It is beginning to be a full on panic attack for me now.

Somehow, though, I think she bores them into a trance. Because the kids are all sitting kind of staring into space, and I am actually able to let my mind wander. I begin thinking about the sucker that I am sure is still on the backseat in the car. I think about the wet laundry I forgot to throw in the dryer.

I think about how incrediably .....

"Boring!" ... this lady is.

I smiled. My sentiments exactly kid. I look around to find the clever little lad. However, everyone is looking at me. Well, I didn't yell that.

But my 5 yr old did. The cold sweat returned quickly. A torrential downpour between barely contained anger and full on embarrassment. I quickly made my way out of that room and tried my best not to chew a hole through my lip with my clenched teeth.

Yeah. It was like that.

*Vintage