The Lazy Days of ... Public Restrooms.

So, the other day we are having a picnic at the park. It was lovely. Blue skies, white fluffy clouds, huge swarms of gnats .... it was great.

Anyhow. Ethan (the 3 yr old) says he's gotta go potty. So, my mother in law takes him. I can tell from the way he's walking he doesn't only have to pee. It's nothing huge that everyone would notice, just a mommy thing. So, he walks up there and in no time, he's back. No go, I think.

A little while later, he's indescreetly grabbing the back of his pants. This kid has REALLY got to GO. So, my husband and my father-in-law take him. Now, knowing my child and my husband like I do, I know this isn't going to pan out either. Oh well, I hope for the best. Two seconds later out trots Ethan. Dang. I know this is going to end up being a Mommy job.

So, as predicted a few minutes later we are heading BACK to the bathrooms again. Now remember, we are at a park and these bathrooms aren't like hanging in the Hilton or anything. I mean the kid's gotta have mounds of germs on his shoes alone already being a frequent flyer of this place and all. So, I take some paper towels with us. I know this kid is taking one look at the pots and squirming like I did when I saw the spinal needle with my c-section. I cover the seat and plop him on.

"Did you leave a hole in the towel, Mom?" Yes, I tell him. I've done this before.

Now, this is where the fun begins. He says, "You might want to go on the other side of the door. This is going to be loud." I look at my kid. This is too much. I walk outside the stall. True to his word, there are all kinds of not right noises echoing off that steel bowl. I peek through the crack to make sure he is still in the upright position. Yup.

About that time a cute little teenage girl comes bopping in. She halts dead in her tracks. And let me tell you, it wasn't the smell that was melting the rubber caulking around the doors either. She actually said out loud how gross this situation was. Look kid, I agree. I didn't ask for the symphony. It just comes with the job.

Well, Ethan fianlly calls me back in. He tells me in nonchalant terms that he's got the biggest poop ever. Real long.

Nice.

And that the was end of that. Finally. Picnic complete.


*Vintage