1-900-GET-FIRED

I am going to deviate a bit in my blogging about kids and talk about how I can make an utter moron of myself with absolutely no help.

Let's go back a few years to the year 2001. My husband and I have been married only a year. We are love birds. We are constantly wanting sex. Remember that time?? Before you felt like the world's largest burp cloth?? Yeah, I can barely remember it myself. Anyhow, I am working at my first career type job. I am dressed professional, at my own desk, and have a fairly large account. The biggest in my department actually. I have a lot of pressure. How does a newly wed escape. Sex. And when you aren't together ..phone sex. Late one afternoon my phone rings and I answer...

Oh ... it's Mike I think. Boy, I am going to give him a show. So, in my most sultry voice I begin saying things that would make Madonna in her hooker years blush. I notice he isn't saying anything. He really likes it I think. So, then I keep on. Confident I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. All of a sudden I hear ...

"What ???" in a voice that does sound similar to Mikes.

"You're not Mike are you?" I am sweating bullets instantly.

"Ahh ...no." Of course not. It's my biggest client. Good Lord. I do what I do when stressed.... I flee. You know the whole fight or flight thing. I hang up on him.

10 minutes later I am in the VP's office explaining my sexploits and rash behavior. While I don't recommend this, it must have worked for me. I kept this account through the 7 years I was there and enjoyed being a favorite in the office.


*Vintage Post